LOS ANGELES – In Los Angeles, those suffering from chronic pain can now get "chronic" relief 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Last week, three "medical" marijuana vending machines – the first of their kind – opened for business in the city.
"It’s f-ing great," said Wendy Reade, a 35-year-old waitress who suffered a herniated disk in her back two months ago while on the job. "I just get this sh*t, and it’s like I don’t even have a spine. Like I’m a snail without a shell. A purple one, with green stripes and no shell. Almost like I never hurt my back because I never had one, like Mona Lisa’s belly button. I mean Adam and Eve. Or was it eyebrows? Who the hell cares. Quit calling me a snail. I’m hungry."
Convenience store owners throughout the city are now saying they want in on the pot vending machine action, too. They’re asking that the vending machines be installed on their stores’ premises so that partakers can easily fulfill their "munchies" buy purchasing items like Fritos and Twizzlers from the stores.
"It benefits everyone involved," said Desmond Burnett, store manager at the 7-Eleven on Santa Monica Boulevard. "The vending machine company sells their pot, the junkies get their junk food, and we get our Fritos money. What’s not to love about it?"
Ben Marcotte, who owns the company that operates the vending machines, refused to comment because he was "stoned out of his f-ing mind" and "needed a shower."
An investigation into the validity of the vending machines is pending.
"It’s f-ing great," said Wendy Reade, a 35-year-old waitress who suffered a herniated disk in her back two months ago while on the job. "I just get this sh*t, and it’s like I don’t even have a spine. Like I’m a snail without a shell. A purple one, with green stripes and no shell. Almost like I never hurt my back because I never had one, like Mona Lisa’s belly button. I mean Adam and Eve. Or was it eyebrows? Who the hell cares. Quit calling me a snail. I’m hungry."
Convenience store owners throughout the city are now saying they want in on the pot vending machine action, too. They’re asking that the vending machines be installed on their stores’ premises so that partakers can easily fulfill their "munchies" buy purchasing items like Fritos and Twizzlers from the stores.
"It benefits everyone involved," said Desmond Burnett, store manager at the 7-Eleven on Santa Monica Boulevard. "The vending machine company sells their pot, the junkies get their junk food, and we get our Fritos money. What’s not to love about it?"
Ben Marcotte, who owns the company that operates the vending machines, refused to comment because he was "stoned out of his f-ing mind" and "needed a shower."
An investigation into the validity of the vending machines is pending.
No comments:
Post a Comment