Area Hermit Has 472 Facebook Friends

NORTHVILLE, Mich. – Northville resident Adam Dunlap, 24, has not left his parents' home on Westbrook Drive since June of 2006, but he insists his social life is “out of control crazy.” Many are asking how that’s possible. Adam’s parents say the computer is to blame.

“He used to love the Olive Garden, but now he refuses to go with us,” said Susan Dunlap, Adam’s mother. “When we tell him we’re going and that he can get whatever he wants off the menu, he just tells us to bring him home a couple of breadsticks, because he’s busy ‘tagging some peeps in some pics.’ It’s just heartbreaking to see him like this.”

“Social Networking,” or online communities of people who share common interests, have been gaining momentum over the last several years, and Adam says his 472 Facebook friends keep him busy 7 days a week.

“Dude, I added the SuperWall Facebook application last week that lets you draw graffiti on your friends’ walls, and that can take up a good 3 to 4 hours of my day, just drawing pictures and stuff on their walls,” he told reporters. “Plus, Facebook tells you when everyone’s birthday is, so just trying to give virtual gifts like smiley balloons to everyone on their birthday takes tons of time.”

Adam said he also recently added the “pieces of flair” application that lets users post virtual buttons depicting things they’re interested in on a virtual bulletin board. “If there’s not already a piece of flair for something you’re into, like say, Mountain Dew Code Red, then you have to create your own flair by uploading a picture and stuff,” he explained. “All this stuff takes time.”

He noted, too, that it’s important to keep his friends in the loop about what he’s doing, which means updating his Facebook “status” several times a day.

“Like just before I started talking to you, I had to change my status to say, ‘Adam is explaining Facebook basics to some dumb ass reporter,” he said. “If I didn’t update my status, there would be 472 … wait, I just got another friend request … make that 473 people who would be wondering what I’m up to and if I’m OK and stuff. You know?”

When asked if there would ever be an occasion for which he’d consider leaving the house, Adam said he wasn’t sure, but thought that his funeral would probably be the next time he’d leave.

“Dude, can you do me a favor when I die?” he said. “Can you change my Facebook status to say, ‘Adam is chillin in a box for eternity’? That would be sweet.”