New Airline Safety Measure Calls For All Passengers To Fly Naked

WASHINGTON, D.C.— New airline safety measures are calling for all passengers to fly naked, the Department of Homeland Security announced this morning.

This is the first major air travel safety measure to be implemented since 2006, when mounting fear of international terrorist plots involving liquid explosives prompted airline and government officials to ban all liquids aside from baby formula on flights (although no infant is required).

The new measure requiring passengers to fly nude will become permanent and make flights even safer, Homeland Security and airline officials said. They did not, however, comment on the potential hygiene issues.