Area Man Discovers Speaker Phone

Tuesday at 1:44 p.m. was a life-changing moment for area marketing coordinator Brad Shadle, who finally learned how to use the speaker phone function on his office phone after more than two years on the job. “Now I can call people without picking up my receiver, but then pick it up when they answer,” Shadle said. “Or, if I choose to leave them on speaker phone, I can even lean back in my chair and cross my arms while discussing ‘strategic partnerships’ and the ‘importance of honing in on segment growth areas’ while also referring to whomever is on the other end of the line as “my main man.”

Some of Shadle’s coworkers, however, aren’t so happy about his newfound knowledge. Assistant project coordinator Amy McHenry, who sits just a few feet away from Shadle, says his incessant speaker phone babble can sometimes be annoying and awkward. “Like that time he had that mouth breather Steve Klein from sales on the phone, and I overheard Steve refer to me as ‘Cankles McHenry,’ she said. “I mean, has Steve looked at his wife lately? Two words for you: ‘ham arms.’”

When asked if he was concerned about his speaker phone conversations being overheard, Shadle chuckled. “Exsqueeze me?” he said. “Isn’t that the point of speaker phone?”

Shadle’s boss declined to comment.