WASHINGTON – The U.S. Navy succeeded in shooting an inoperable spy satellite with a missile last week in order to stop the reconnaissance device from hitting the Earth. U.S. officials did not, however, anticipate what happened next: The damaged satellite shot back with a large, suction cup arrow that stuck to the window of a 1998 Dodge Neon near Reno, Nev., and included a note attached that read: “Bring it on, you redneck losers.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” said NASA researcher Donald Lyons. “I guess we built enough intelligence into the reconnaissance device to allow it to respond when threatened, and to do so in a side-splittingly funny manner.”
President George W. Bush and Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates are in discussions to determine what action, if any, to take. Analysts anticipate the Bush administration will seek approval to declare war on the satellite, noting that the “redneck” comment really resonated with the president, and not in a good way.
In the meantime, it appears that the Navy’s missile strike has halted any imminent threat of the satellite hitting the earth, although Lyons was quick to note that does not make us immune to any additional snide remarks from the device.
“Until it runs out of suction cup arrows, we’re fair game for its mockery,” he said.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” said NASA researcher Donald Lyons. “I guess we built enough intelligence into the reconnaissance device to allow it to respond when threatened, and to do so in a side-splittingly funny manner.”
President George W. Bush and Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates are in discussions to determine what action, if any, to take. Analysts anticipate the Bush administration will seek approval to declare war on the satellite, noting that the “redneck” comment really resonated with the president, and not in a good way.
In the meantime, it appears that the Navy’s missile strike has halted any imminent threat of the satellite hitting the earth, although Lyons was quick to note that does not make us immune to any additional snide remarks from the device.
“Until it runs out of suction cup arrows, we’re fair game for its mockery,” he said.
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